I know we all have family member that tells a tall tale. Not just stretching out a long shot or adding a pound or two to a largemouth bass. There is one branch of my family tree that is nothing but pure fabrication and magnification of bull shit.
I ran into one of my cousins from that tree limb tonight while on duty. The small talk for about ten to fifteen minutes was really nice then...........
He tells me of a turd he found and sent it in and it was confirmed to be a cougar. He said the turd was a inch and seven eighths in diameter The place he found this turd is a mile or two away from my home. I was thinking 'where would one send a turd to determine its origin'?
Then he tells me that he has seen seven cougars so far this year. One cougar was swimming across the Ohio River. The location the cougar was seen is one of the widest sections of the Ohio River.
Now if we lived out west in Montana or Utah I can see where one would see that many cougars. However we live in Southern Indiana. There is zero here.
I have been laughing my butt off since I escaped his mighty windy stories.
Anyone else have a tree limb like this?

I think everyone's got that limb. If not there's a side of the family they haven't met yet.

My grandpa from picayune is the tall tale teller in my family, he just told me yesterday he found pablo Francisco floating face down in the Rio grand when he was on his way home from work in juarez

It's simple. get a mud motor. shoot ducks in the face.

Like my mom says" all the crazys ain't locked up".

None in my family but plenty of other folks I know. I got one guy who has lost countless Illinois state record fish of every species right at the boat. Its funny you mention cougars because this guy told us that he seen a cougar on I55 so he drove off the road, jumped a ditch in his car and chased the thing across a corn feild....almost had him too.

My sisters husband is a fukkin know-it-all! He has done everything in the world and has lived everywhere in the world. I would bet that he has actually caught a cougar by hand and examined his balls to make sure that it can reproduce. Dude is the baddest mofo ever.

Told me he has a Barret .50 cal that he was going to let me shoot and an Acog and various things for an ar that he would give me but he can't find any of them.

Just glad he's not blood kin.


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I stepped in one of them cougar turds.


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I've got a buddy who's salary has increased every time I see him along with the number of girls he's bedded. Pure BS. I just congratulate him and try to move on with a different conversation.


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Been living in Montana my whole life and saw one mountain lion, they are very elusive, The one I saw I took a double take then backed up confirmed that it was a lion, blinked and it was gone. I do how ever see plenty of tracks when it snows. And been along on numerous hound hunts, just not my cup of tee to shot them once treed.. It is neat to follow the hounds I must say..

Not saying I have big liars branch in my family tree but around these parts ( West Ky) you always have some jackass talking about seeing Black Panthers (aka black house cats) & Cougars (aka Bobcats) & huge 250 inch bucks (aka 125" 8 pointers) & and for the apex predator......wait for it ......... Bigfoot sightings (aka who the hell knows what they are seeing)!

I know a guy who is the definition of Tommy topper. You tell a story and he has one better. You buy something and he has one better. Sometimes il bait him with a crazy story just to see how far he goes with his bs. Just a typical spoiled rich kid.

Hendo my cousin is from Greenville. But now lives in Evansville.

I don’t know – I kind of like a good story with some obvious embellishments, like the job I had at the orange juice factory – I got fired because I couldn’t concentrate then I got fired at the fire hydrant factory because I couldn’t find a place to park.

Stories and storytelling is kind of part of who we are and tells where we have been and how we got to where we are at. I not talking about being braggadocios or topping the next guy’s story, just passing time in the duck boat or a road trip – who hasn’t been with buds and said “remember the time,,,” if you haven’t you have missed a lot of life. Enjoy the story, 2 guys will remember the same event differently we all add a certain uniqueness to life does that really make us liars?

So during the same 'cougar' tall tale event I had tried to shift gears onto another topic. I asked my cousin if had seen our uncle Terry lately.
My cousin said 'oh yeah' I have seen him. He goes on to say that he had applied for a maintenance supervisor job at a nearby bio fuel plant. After applying for the job he had bumped into uncle Terry and had told him about applying for the position. He said Terry went and applied for the same job.
A week later my cousin calls about the job. He was told they had hired Terry. They told my cousin that they thought Terry was him. My cousin said they hired Terry thinking Terry was me. Boy are they in big trouble. I'm the only one qualified for that position. When they realize they made the mistake and call me I'm going to tell them to go to hell.
So I call another cousin about Terry being the maintenance supervisor ??? I was told he is a janitor.

Did my wife's colorful uncle shoot a 10point buck at 900 yards across their pasture with one shot from a .22- doubtful.
Did he damage a tractor trying to dig through the frozen ground to bury his retarded inbred cousin on the farm with no birth record- without a doubt....

I worked with a guy that told us he hid in a bush and killed a deer with his knife when it walked by. We all laughed our asses off. Called him the deer ninja after that.

When I was around 10 one time I was riding four wheelers and I swore I saw a cougar. I honestly believed I did for about 7 months until we saw and shot about a 50 lb bobcat. SOB was so damn big I thought it was just a small cougar being so young. So maybe he just saw an overgrown housecat and turned it into a cougar. Just making a big story. Funny how some people that do that on here haven't chimed in on this yet.. Also I kind of want to hear the story about the broken tractor...

Tall stories aside we do have cougars in Northern Wisconsin, not just in the taverns either.

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Moose Thadd and I are in my office locked up, my ribs hurt and my cheeks are cramped!! I need to come up soon hahaaa

I had a foreman once we called meat head he was a compulsive lier.
One day in conversation he lets slip hes the queen of Englands cousin....a week earlier he was telling us how he being a white boy got so much Maori in him. I told him with Maori on one side and Royalty on the other he should claim a block of land and fuck off then.

I have told some of my other cousins about the Cougar Expert in our family. Couple days ago I got a text message with a picture of a ziplock bag with some turds in it she spotted while out walking. She inquired about where to send them to determine the origin. haha

Walker we got plenty of those cougars here too. The cousin that sent the bag o turd pictures is a cougar.

Ok I remembered a good one .....we had an electrician on the job site that told story after story and earned the name Larry the legend ! One of his all time best was when he was in Vietnam as a chopper pilot he had to fly in to a very thick jungled area. He had to get in to pickup some special forces so he inverted the chopper and " carved" his own LZ with the chopper blades!,,
Mic drop on that one

Joined a new deer club this season. I know 5 of the 11 guys that make up this club. One of the other fellas that I hadn't met before was up there hunting with us last week. He fully fits this category. While talking about being in the market for a new truck soon, he decide to tell us about the best pickup trucks on the planet. In 95 he bought a 4 door Dodge Ram. 3/4 ton diesel with a 5 speed manual tranny. Best truck he's ever had. Drove that thing till 99. When he sold it just shy of 1.5 million miles on it. Never did anything more than an oil change. Still on the original clutch!!
Now, for whatever reason, I get more enjoyment than I should when I get to call someone out on a lie. So as he's adding details about trips in this Super Dodge I busted out my phone. 4 years of ownership ( if bought on Jan 1 and sold on Dec 31) is 1461 days. Divided by the 1.5 million miles equals 1027 miles per day! No fucking way. So I asked, back then being a hot shot driver, could you drive more than 10 hours a day? He kinda looked confused and asked what I was talking about. I said if you drove 10 hours a day, every day for four years, you would have had to drive about 102 mph to hit 1.5 million miles. He never answered about how many tickets he got!


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A couple good ones right there...

Are you talking about the guy who seen it, smoked it, fucked it, his aunt owned it, and his brother sold it?

My family tree must have a Cactus in it. Because most of them are pricks.

Bump on an awesome thread.

^^ Ok...round here I'm known as the F'n expert! If I don't know it, it cant be known. Ask me anything...go ahead dare ya!