I aint pissed at all, just dont want to rile up ol BM, might give him a laps of memory or somethin

.............and then one mornin about 5 or 4 I was sittin at the table readin the paper havin some coffee( boogers best jamacian blend) and my cellular telephone rings. "Hello", I says. " Is dis B.M. Cooka barrel", the voice on the other end replies. I said," this is B.M. Barrelcooker..............Who the hell is bustin my balls callin up in here before the sun has came up in the mornin?"

" Dis is JOel", he says but it is all muffled and crusty soundin like he is talkin with a pillow over his head. "Joe who", I say. "D-A......deadanimal from the fuge I mean .....ya know main it's me.............I'm up here.......let me take this face mask off".............the rest was pretty legible even with the heavy coonass accent," Me and Randy Merta is up here in Canada bustin up on these ole geese an he said you was havin a layout boat fo sale".....

So I told mister DA that he could swing on down to Aintry and I would hook him up with the two-man low profile lay-out duckhuntin boat. Peeps had made a bet with me one night at the German resturaunt that he could drink two of them great big ole mugs of german dark beer with out laughin or without pissin before we got home to Aintry. He lives a little south of Aintry but it ain't out of walkin distance. So I let him get about three quarters of the way through the second mug and I told him the joke about two penguins and a clown in a cornfield............He didn't finish the mug and he laughed all the way home and pissed in his pants twice on the way....that joke is a killer and has won me several bets at the german resturaunt.

Anyway Peeps had bought the layout boat and we used it a couple times on the big lake but it really hurt our feet cause you had to cock them sideways because of the low profile. We decided to sell it after a couple seasons and the only hits we had were from the classified adds on the fuge.

Joel or......D.A. had seen the add and thought he had always wanted to try some of that diver huntin. We made the deal over the phone that mornin.....He brought me six cases of canadian strength moosehead and would pick the boat up on his way thru Aintry.....upon arrival and when He got back to coonass land he would mail me two grass sacks full of spanish moss for my duckblind and 15 bounds of pork Boudain. Randy Merta had told Joel that I was good people. I had met Randy a few years before when he was a county sherriff deputy and aghhh lets just say we had dealings when we were both following our chosen career paths. Randy and Joel knew Rail also and they all decided that it was a good trade.

Now the funny part is when Ole DA came knockin on the trailer door at Aintry I never didn't see him for a long time. I kept tellin Tyrone that them mexican chicken catchers kids was at the pranks again cause they was knockin on the door and runnin but the third time I come to the door ,"hey, BM", comes from down a little bit and when I set my eyes upon him I say ,"OH LORD OF MERCY- Tyrone you got to check this dude out......................he is as wide and thick as he is tall.......................ain't no way that boy is gonna be gettin in that layout boat. He is built like a beer barrel........Hey Joel hurry up and get that moosehead beer ...we will load you up and get you on your way".

Joel truly was one of the nicest gentlemen I ever met and we still call him for advice occasionally. The day we got the moss and the Boudain in the mail we called ole Joel to check on him and he said that some lowlife SOB had done stole the layout boat....Mmayes said he figured it was some of G-mans mob gang cause DA had been pretty outspoken again him when the mudbuddy crew had tried to hi-jack the second mudfest or muddi-gras or whatever did they call it. Rail had been there and said it was weird and thank goodness it didn't get weirder.

Anyhow thats how we gotted to be friends with the dead animal from the refuge.

I love this chit but The Catch is on.......

man, I had no idea about any of this.. Very interesting!

I'd likes to know just a bit mo 'bout them Penguins, Clowns, and that KornField .......

come on up to the Gerst House and maybe we will sit down and make a bet or two.

ttt

and then...

Was just thanking about this a few mins ago....
I need to go back and start over....

Just waiting around for the next chapter in as the mud motor world turns

....Well project "x" had taken a backseat and Mmayes was on the road and in the air constantly so I had quite a bit of time on my hands. Black Willie had quit drinkin so it wasn't fun to gamble with him anymore and Me and Tyrone got tired of shootin sparrows and bats with our 20 gauge out by the barn. I had a real longing in my heart to break out of the confines of Aintry......to do something bigger than this slow country life in the trailer out by the slough at the end of a bean field. So on a whim one night I went to town and rented a set of skates at the local rink.

I hadn't been on roller-skates since I was a kid. I was a little shaky at first but very soon I was speed skatin around the rink at breakneck speeds while Pearl Jam cranked over the speakers. It was amazing fun. After one extraordinary wreck as I was pickin myself up and rubbin my bruised elbow I heard a kind voice,"are you alright BM that was a terrible fall" . It was Dorcinda G. Eddlemyer. She was lookin extra good and I don't know if I bumped my head or what but...................I was in Love. We spent the rest of the night holdin hands to every couples skate and even did the backwards skate together.

To make a long story short...me and Black Willie hung an old porch swing on the big oak tree out front of the trailer and me and Dorcinda spent several nights out there just listening to the frogs from the Basin and talkin about all sorts of things. She came from a tough background but had an amazing amount of tenderness for such a tough chick. So at the end of that summer when Mr. Lokey had his heart attack and had to sell the skatin rink we decided to take the plunge.
Dorcinda sold her harley and her VW bug and I sold Tyrone My share of the trailer at Aintry (but kept the 49 acres that my great grandpa had got when he came back from fightin for the south......long story but we had a wealthy man in our coutny that gave every confederate solider that served 50 acres...paw-jett had given one acre to his brother-in-law that was an indian so that he could marry maw-jett. The indian B.I.L. stayed drunk and died when he fell off his mule but his no count cousin ended up with that acre and now some of his no count kin still have a junky old trailer on that lot and I'll burn them out if ever I get the chance).....and we borrowed the rest from Mmayes on a interest note so we could buy the skatin rink and run it to prosper our dreams. We also decided to get married propper and settle down as upright business people and citizens.
I burnt all my overalls and bought some kahki pants and some clean colored t-shirts. I wasn't puttin on aires, ya just got to look decent when you are dealing with the public and as I found out they is plenty of public involved in the day to day operations of a skatin rink even way out here in the outskirts of Aintry.

interesting...

Wait as second.............................



Aintry gots dem selves a skatin rink I didn't know anyone still had dem.
I think I'm goin to Aintry on my next vacation. I hope they do da roller skatin limbo over der.

A from that day forth............ B.M. started roller derby!!!!!!!

Awesome B.M. keep it coming

what the hell happened to the bowlin alley?

Did I tell the one yet about me and Rail and Mudslinger down at reelfoot?

I might have to let slinger tell ya....I know Rail don't remember it.

More B.M. I'm hooked like a big bellied channel cat

What next?

And......................

litering and....litering and.....

this here is a mighty fine tale you got cookin

And then.......................?

Yea it has been a while
I understand that it is frogging season and all, and that skating ring is a hard business to run.

This is the beat thing I ever read on the www

I feel like a crackhead waiting for the next hit.....
and then

Where n da devil is da rest o da story?! Hell I got hooked n now I'm lefta hangin!

Man where is the rest of the story i am hooked now.

He got another summons in the mail from Utah

B.M. BarrelCookers ~ YOU AIN'T FINISHED !!!! YOU'S GOTS FOLKS HANGIN' HERE !!!!


HELLO ...... HELLO .......



DagGums it ......... HELLO ??????

BM hasnt been hangin around in a while, wonder whats goin on?

Well Mmayes called me one night late. He was at a bar in Chicago and had met up with a guy named Mccauley.....he was Jewish or something. He sold equipment but also had a knack for hot rodding and hop pin up engines. It was st patrics day and they were drink in green beer and wearing funny little green hats. McCauley was old buddies with the Forman guy having introduced him to the shocker. Glen loved Mccauley and let him in on the diabolical plot to ruin all the boys from Louisiana. He told him about his plans to use a certain boat builder to undermine their efforts and sales.
It wasn't long after that that the fisher guy from beavertail showed up in loureville trying to convince them brousaaaaaaaaard boys to hook up and take the fight to the guys out west.it was strange times.

Now I tell y'all all this because it is history and the story has to be told. Me and Mmayes tried to stay out of it as much as we could but seemed to keep getting dragged back in. We had our own challenges with project "x" without getting involved in one small mans massive battle with his own ego and the truth.

about time! I have been waiting for this to continue....