So I'm about 6 weeks away from my wife producing our first offspring.

Dont know the gender - I just want a happy healthy kid.......with a penis.=)

So other than being terrified beyond anything (and I've been deployed twice!)

I was wondering what kind of parental advice MMT can throw my way.

I am lost here. I have no clue what to expect.

Any insight here?

You will figure it out but everyone will give you advise. 2 things: sleep all you can now and don't wake a sleeping baby.

What he said, plus never raise a baby or young child up and look up at them with your mouth open. They spit up at that time everytime.

Be like a fast elusive ninja during diaper changes so u don't get sprayed or crapped on.

My advice is ask for advice somewhere else.

But seriously, you're gonna be fine. Just do everything your wife tells you to do. Oh, and good timing on the birth not being during hunting season. By my calculations your child was conceived in a duck blind.

Buzz,

You will be fine. When it's your child and not someone elses, you will always know what to do. Just wait until you lay eyes on he/she. You will be a changed man, and a better one probably. My only advice is this.......

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You will thank me later. My wife and I called it Jesus in a bottle.

Congrats!

Do NOT watch your wife give birth.

Horse crap! Watch it!! Just dont focus on the fact that that thang is stretched........................well focus on the good stuff of you child being brought into the world.

Go ahead and watch. She woont be able to have sex for a while with a natural birth and you won't want to (also will realize you won't do any good for a while anyhow) after seeing the kid come out so it'll benefit you both in the long run. I watched my first be born but passed on the 2nd. I had also delived 2 in the field when I worked as a medic so I have no desire whatsoever to see that again. You will love being a dad. Its pretty awesome.

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Never hold the baby after putting on a fresh laundered shirt. It causes them to spew like a can of beer for some reason.

Solid advice guys I appreciate it.

To add @ dguidry ^
I dont mind taking parental advice on MMT because the guys here (as I have observed) love their families. Yeah, Talking shit about GTR or ProDrive is all in good fun - but every guy here that has kids brags about how awesome they are and how protective they are as a parent.

So in my opinion - this is a great place to ask!

I already learned a few things =)

Keep your fingernails short so you don't end up with yellow underneath em

Enjoy. And it will come to ya. There is nothing like bein a parent and you wont ever love somethin so much. Im screwed cause i have all girls

Babies are tougher than u think. Everything will be fine buddy. It will be the absolute best thing that ever happened to you. X2 on gas drops

Congratulations!

It'll be bad right after their born until they kinda clean themselves out. It'll still be nasty but not AS bad. Just wait til you lay your eyes on him/her. I can assure you that you will be a changed person and will do absolutely anything for that little one.

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Lol not saying that it isn't smelly at times!!!

Eveyything said above also , but also help your going to be exhausted wife out . Believe me she will appreciate it . Children are a blessing, some one said above you'll be a changed man believe it , congrats man

She took care of you when you fell out of the boat. Good women have instinics for taking care of there family. You will be fine just go with the flow she will show you. Congrates Man

Just like elephants Dont Forget Shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

First of all, congrats!!!!! My little man is 3 months old. It's and awesome thing! You will never know a love like that. This is what I'm doing right now!!!

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No matter how much advice you get on what it is like is great, but until you experience it for yourself, it is hard to prepare!
It truly is an amazing thing, best of luck!

Get as much sleep as you can cause you will always be short on it from then on.

Cuz they get gas alot

Congrats man you will have a blast. Take photos and have fun.
I have one of each, the youngest is a wee boy 6 weeks.
The best advice i can give you is if it what your doing feels right it probably is be damned what anyone else says.
Wee boys cry when they are dirty, hungry or tired, wee girls could be anything.
And http://www.cryingoverspiltmilk.co.nz/ this web site has been a life saver with this boy wish we knew about it the first time around.

Owen

Excellent info guys

Slip the doc a hundo and ask him to put in an extra stitch.

Congrats, best thing that ever happen to me was giving my wife the baby goo. My son is my whole world. Wish I had not waited till I was 35. My advice to you is watch the child birth. What ever you do DO NOT anwser your cell phone while your wife is pushing. Also do ask and don't joke about asking the doctor to put a couple extra stitches in it. Change as many diapers as you can just hold your breath. They grow up fast you will wish you still had those days. The picture of the baby gas med is the real deal. Your wife will be a mother and have motherly instinct, TRUST them. My son cried and cried for the first six weeks. No sleep for mommy daddy or the baby. Took him to two different doctors and they said it was colic try different formula. Colic is a general generic term used when they dont give a shit. We were living in the mountains of North Carolina and made a business trip to Florida. I had my family with me and my son was making my wife very upset. While we were in Florida out of desperation she call an old friend that just happen to be a gastro pediatrician. He diagnose him with acid reflux a little zantac and life was good. Two years later and he was off the zantac. Take tons of pictures and make plenty of video before you know it they are all grown up.

I have all girls too. I like to think I went too deep and blew their balls off. One thing with children its all trial by fire. Watch them come into the world. I did and know what tears of joy are. I was overwelmed with happiness. I sure do love my girls. They are awesome and I'm very proud of them. They are now 21 and 25 years old and I remember their births like it was two minutes ago.
Enjoy and god bless you and your family.