When is the last time you got really kicked hard in the nuts?
A couple weeks ago we were serving newly issued warrants. There was one for a female. My partner and I drove to her home and was greeted at the door by a nice looking lady. We asked her name and she was the person we had a arrest warrant for. My pardner is telling her about the warrant[bond]as I was looking at some deer heads on the wall. She tells us that she has a small child and did not know what to do about her. We told her make some phone calls and we would wait around for someone to show up to take care of the child. Everything was calm and we were just trying to accommodate her problem. After a few minutes of chatter she looks at us and 'tells us to get our fat asses out of her home and she was not going to jail' My pard is kinda laughing and telling her that she was under arrest and needed to get someone en route. She again told us that she was not going to jail and walked over to a computer and started surfing the internet. She now has my attention. I grabbed her arm and told her to put her hands behind her to be handcuffed and thats when the spring sprung. As I got her arm she jumped up and tried to turn to face me which I prevented. I had her left arm locked out and my pard was trying to get her right arm behind her to hand cuff. She was trying to grab my nuts with her left hand and I still in shock how this arrest had fallen apart. I laughingly move back a little to avoid being grabbed when she 'mule kicked' me right square in the nuts.
It was hard enough that I bent over and my pardner now is going full tilt to get her right arm behind her and finally does and cuffs her. He leads her out the door [I'm following in pain] and just as they get to road she pulls one hand out of the cuffs and takes off running across a muddy field. My pard runs her down and tackles her. He struggles again to get the cuffs on and it takes both of us to get it done again. This time I tell him to make sure they are on properly. We get her back to the car and have to force her into the back of the car. She kicks the back glass out and got pepper sprayed for her efforts.
I asked my pard about the handcuffs and he said he had them on good the first time. We get her booked in and I fill out a injury on duty report and head out.
I bump into one of the Sgts later in the shift and he is teasing me about getting kicked in the nuts. He asked me who the female was and when he heard her name he chuckled. I asked him if he knew her and he said 'Oh yeah' She kicked out my car windows about six months ago. He said she has one hand that allowed her to get out of a handcuff.
At the time of the arrest we did not know anything about this gal. Come to find out she has a lengthy criminal history and the warrant was for Battery on a LEO .
So thats my 'kick in the nuts' story. Whats yours?
Randy

Damn Randy

That's a funny story

randy i hate to laugh at a brother in pain but thats some funny chit .... so did she get charged for mule kicking a peace officer in the nutz .....

Randy,
I dated this chick that was a polo player and general equestrienne. They would hang out on the polo field and drink beer and whack the ball around with these little midget sized polo mallets. It was kinda fun.
Well, this ole gal could fire one of these polo balls a looooong way with the real mallet and pretty well with the foot mallet.
You can see where this is going.
I made some comment about girls and strength and WHAPPOW she sends this ball right into my balls. She even got that upwards arc that jams em in there in addition to smashing them. I dropped like a spine shot deer. Folded up like a card table.
You can drive a 16d nail with a polo ball. You can make a mofo wince like a little bitch with one too.
I spent the whole evening with a cold one in my crotch.

She was a wild one.

Dood, that is funny but sucks at the same time Or maybe should have been suckin ya off instead of whacking you in the nards. I would have taken it out on her throat

Thats some funny stuff. Got any more police stories??

sounds like a real tom cat, how'd she handle the spary........... somethin like "thank you may i have another?"

Those lil psyho gals are stronger than ya think...

I'd hate to get kicked "there" by someone who practice kicks
squad car windows out....

Take an injury day off - an go fishin....

So what happened to the child?

I've got several...this one time I was going to dinner wiff the family........crossed over the double yellow thingny half way to get into the turning lane.........damn barney fifth pulled me over for illegal lane shift whatever......ran my chit and found I had no prior traffic thingys and insurance and let me go wiff a warning.

F'er looked like he was 16. And I'm calling his stupid arse Sir.lol.

OH and how bout the time you Barneys pulled my GF over at a red light.......she was stopped at a red light ......and was jamming along to her factory stereo........at 3 PM.....nice.

Or the time yall gave the wife a seat belt ticket at the school.

Eat it prick. Glad you got kicked in the balls and personally I hope it happens every friggin day for the rest of your life.

Just Sayin.......peace and luv......RB

Dang - RB - ya'll gota problem with G-Men there in Ga.

Stoke the still an get some more jars...

I hate me some G mens and they're phagot looking Hitler mustaches........Buncha a friggin no fun police.

RB's moto.......maybe in a body bag but never in cuffs.

And just so all the G mens know......sometimes I forget to put my seat belt on.lol........gangster baby !!!! and at times I drive wiff just one hand on the wheel instead of two at 10 and 2.

And just to be passive aggressive I cross the solid white line just to flaunt the authority !!!!

And I've been know to ride in the carpool pool lane when it's just me.

And get this.....it'll make you madder than hell.......sometimes when nobody's looking.........I turn left on red !!!!!!!..............I'm from the skreets babay !!!!

River, that bitch was keeee-rraaazzyy

We got in a hell of a fight one night. Me and the buys wound up at a bar watching a band. I don't smoke, but for some reason a guy handed me a cigarette and I started smoking it. Just sitting in my chair enjoying a pitcher or five and smoking this cigarette. Good music, summer night, laughing at my buddys.
All of a sudden, KRACKAPAYOOOWW I get smacked hard in the face. I jump the f up and already have my left fist swinging. I have no idea who hit me but I'm getting my licks in. All I see is this crazy bish standing there looking at me. Dude, the band stopped playing. I grabbed her by the collar bone and picked her ass up and out the door we went. She's drunk and hollering about me smoking. We get in the corner of the parking lot and she's running her mouth. She said something and then acted like she was going to smack me again. I don't think she knew about back hands up to that point in her life.
Simmer down now.

Mud did you take her home?

Silver we found out her grandparents were on their way home. My Sgt and I waited with the baby until they arrived.

Randy

Words of advice - Always go first in a Roeshamboe!

The really crazy ones have self-esteem issues. They try as hard as the ugly ones. Also, they know they're not ugly so they compensate in various ways.
I don't know where I got that term from, but there it is.
Crazy, strange (in a good way), boots knocking. Damn sure ain't making love or babies. Nothing you tell your parents or casual friends about.

Had one like that once, matter fact twas the same one who's ex took out his frustrations on my nose.

Hizzy knows her................

Wish I woulda known your term "ill-freaky na-na" back then cause I woulda been useing it, might still if I can talk the wife in to it.